Urine is back in style for the first week of school — Are you a fan of Golden Showers? Actually, don’t answer that. I really don’t wanna know. Chacun son gout. That’s French for I’m ready to puke but I won’t judge. What you or I hold true doesn’t matter. What does matter? Being baptized into the world of water sports. While…

It’s gonna happen, and you’re gonna need a comeback — Be like Teflon, don’t let anything stick. Jasleen Kaur Sometimes, just sometimes, a writer can’t handle editorial suggestions. “I’m yanking my article from your publication faster than I can say hissy fit,” proclaims an author. Or so you imagine — as you observe a few nasty comebacks and the title…

A few new options — Your wood no longer raises. Your nipples do — even if you can’t find them amongst your knee folds. And your diabetic cankles? Better not discuss those. Here at McGolden & McOldies™ we know YOU. We understand the reality of the mid-life suffering 29+ crowd. We cater to you, Beautiful…

And it was beyond terrifying — This is a problem. I’m not sure what it means. Usually, as the onset of the school year gets closer than my tits are to my armpits, weird things happen between my sheets. Oh, pervert. Cut it out. I’m talkin’ nightmares. My day plans have been eaten by the dog…

Naptime and rainbows and fun — “Wanna come to my house after school and touch my puppies?” she giggles, sunshine tickling her charcoal curls. “Only if I get to lick some of your birthday cake!” His ratty hoodie, purchased in summertime sales, sports three dancing unicorns. One of their gaping grins brushes her midriff. “It’s naptime!”…

Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) and Carlo Zeno inspire introspection — It’s almost a new month. I don’t need to tell you that. You’re an intelligent being who can read the numbers on your phone screen. September means… Show me your undies. That’s what Carlo Zeno demands in response to August wrapping up its sunny little sense of summer freedom. Okay…

A morning fix with a jolt of joy — Travel. Adventure. Coffee. But not in that order. Every good addict knows that java comes first. Our travel and adventure in British Columbia started the same way every day — venturing by foot about the area, in search of caffeine to kickstart our cardio. Open eyes. Mention coffee. Throw on…

Let me tell you — “Where’s that one going?” asks my partner, staring at the jet stream ribboning the sky above his back deck. To say he is slightly enamored with the Plane Finder App is an understatement. I occasionally wonder what his choice would be if, gun-to-head, he was ordered to pick between the…

Thanks, Doctor Funny followers — Unbelievable! There are 600 s̶u̶c̶k̶e̶r̶s̶ brilliant folks following Doctor Funny! That is a big deal-eo. How big? Have you heard of Angel Number 600? No worries. I hadn’t either. Apparently, though, it’s massive. And you, dear reader and writer, are part of that! Our 600 followers are a special sign from the heavens above The number 600 is a special message…