I promise these experiences will make me a better person — Dear Fat Guy, I know, I know, it isn’t politically correct to use the word fat. I don’t want to be accused of body-shaming. On the other side of things, however, I also don’t want you to end up with your scaly, diabetically purple toesies sliced off. …

We need a woman to rule the Bollocks tag — A sandwich without the filling is just two pieces of bread. Am I right? And who wants to shove two plain chunks of carbohydrates down their throat? Okay, sure you do. And so do I. But just bread? …

Untruths shouldn’t make us feel better — WHAT is it about death that turns the living into such liars? Kylie Bullivant Have you ever shown up to a funeral and wondered if the speakers were discussing the same person you knew? Recently, the matriarch of my ex-husband’s family has gone to her eternal Stitch and Bitch in…

Honestly, he’s asking for it — Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. Please put a copper in old man Burg’s ratty hat. Or kick him. He’s okay with that — and if you don’t believe me then read it here. Amongst the kindness and giving of the upcoming Chrismakkuh season, we decided that a…

Would we be besties? — Have you ever considered asking Wikipedia to be your best friend? I did. Here’s what she/he/they responded.

What saved me when I wanted to end it all — I finally understand what it’s all about. Kristine Laco has been insisting that photoshopping pics is where it’s at. Gunner Barrett had been trying to tell me — although he won’t reveal any trade secrets and most of his image tomfoolery involves penises. …

Quit trying to shut me up — In my childhood home, the word hate was almost as horrible as the ‘sh’ word. Not ‘sh’ as in “Sh, mommy and daddy are drinking their after-work martini so shut the hell up or we’ll never let you out of that old freezer box.” No. ‘Sh’ as in what I…

Let’s make getting old sexy — “Getting old is fucking hot. It is sexy.” Julia Fox Getting old IS sexy. Except when it’s not. Which, let’s face it, young’uns, is most of the time. But we need to change that. Because what’s sexier than a man washing the dishes? A wisp of white brushed from his…